An Omisson

by Alicia on August 21, 2013

So, I’ve been doing something I haven’t told you about. Really, I haven’t told very many people about it.

This was out of self-preservation because I wasn’t sure I’d keep up with it and I didn’t want to be The Quitter. (I still might quit eventually, but let’s just save that for another post, mmkay?)

I’ve been running.

 

It’s a big deal TO ME, because I used to very much be this girl:

(someecards.com)

 

And now I’m This Girl:

 

Here’s the thing. I’m not going to tell you any of my routes or my split times or my distances…because that’s not why I’m doing this. I don’t even have a goal. I feel like a damn million dollars when I get a great time, run a far distance or don’t want to sob cry that my knees hurt. And that’s enough for me. Because I’m running just for me.

I have been searching for an activity to GO OUT and DO ALONE for months. I wanted to yoga, but can’t be bothered to commit to someone else’s schedule to do it. I don’t want to join a gym because I’m just not that into fitness. I’m not running to lose weight because let’s face it, I just shouldn’t lose any more weight. I’d like a nicer butt, I guess that’s a goal. I don’t even know what “nicer” means in that sentence. I don’t want to join your class, I’m not into team sports. I wanted an alone activity that I could do the second I felt like doing it with minimal prep work and no waiting. I’m demanding. So…running it is. I run at night because I’m a nocturnal person, and because it’s something I can do when the kids are asleep, and it’s not hell-on-earth-hot. I’m fragile and require a lot of care, ok?!

I started doing the C25K app. And I liked it. But eight runs in, I ditched it in dramatic fashion. I got a bit of a knee injury (laughable, I’m not “runner” enough for an injury!) because I was trying to run in the same shoes I’ve had since high school. Derp. Monday night I took off and tried to run when the little lady on the app said run and ho-lee-sheet did my knees feel like they were about to explode. So I did what any normal person does…I got mad. Walked for a while, just stomping around the trail, then a bug flew IN MY EYE and that was the final straw. I’m sure the poor late night tennis players did not expect to hear a random woman yell “FUCK YOU” from the parking lot (I wasn’t even looking at them, stop staring at me like that…) I yelled pretty loud. ::looks sheepish:: And then a funny thing happened- I took off running and never stopped.

When I got to a cross street, I took it and said “just to the end of this street” and then when I got there I thought, “I could keep going…ok…” and I did. And I just ran and ran and ran. That’s never happened to me before. And I was proud of myself.

Give me a good soundtrack, and I can do just about anything. Maybe even turn into a runner.

(Updated: I ran again Tuesday night, felt fantastic. I don’t know how far you have to be in the club to claim a runner’s high but I think I might be getting there. I want to run every day.)

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